[Looking at him and listening to those words that are full of so much love and genuine sincerity, Lyra’s tears continue to slowly trickle down the side of her face as she continues to sniff. For a moment, she’s closing her eyes to let herself sink into that warm embrace she’s been wanting for so long, arms finally returning the gesture. She wants more than this but more that this would mean giving Red fake promises, right?
Softly, she’s speaking up again because she thinks… she knows why.] Red…. Because you hate Green, you don’t want to share me, right? Because of him, you don’t want him to love me, right?
[It makes sense, doesn’t it? Red hated Green and would always scowl at the thought of his rival. There’s a wound in their relationship that seemed to never heal and Lyra? She was just that temporary bandaid that would eventually fall off.]
Don’t you think you’re holding back because you hate him? I know it sounds like I’m defending him, but… Green doesn’t hate you, Red. I know… that he cares about you too. You might not believe it, but… I think there are times where he thinks about you and if you’re okay. He cleaned this room, didn’t he?
[And Lyra pauses for a moment because maybe she shouldn’t talk further.] Sorry. I just… don’t want you hating him and I… don’t want you two fighting each other. It’s only like this because you’re not letting him in, Red.
[Pulling away just a bit, she’s taking one head to smooth upon his cheek, thumb gently rubbing at his skin that is wet from the tears he shed. And she’s looking at him with so much love and a desire to be close to him like this always. Not just him, but with Green too. That’s why she’s bring his face close so that their foreheads are bumping and she can feel and hear his breathing.]
[No matter how much more either of them wanted, boundaries had to be set. With all the agony he’d gone through, he just couldn’t handle it. His mentality just was not capable of dealing with all of that again.
Even as she’s claiming he can’t share her solely because of Green, and yes, it is part of it, but things changed. Deep down, he’s changed and it’s what eats at him. A year ago, he barely understood humans, having been unaffected by them in so long. Lyra made it all different, made him feel emotions again.
In the very beginning, of course, it did have to do with his hate towards Green. How he had been hurt by his traitorous ex best friend, and how he feared the same to happen to her. It was inevitable, something he couldn’t stop. Despite having wanted to, so, so badly. She had gotten hurt by Green in the end.
Choking back a disgruntled sigh over the suggestion that Green thought of him, cared about him. It was a feeling he didn’t care about at, not at all. His rival had had a chance, so long ago, to make everything right. Instead he just treated Red worse, and all they did was fight, and all they do is continue to fight.
Dropping his arms slowly, he’s wrapping them comfortably at her waist. Shaking his head that all of this was caused due to him not letting Green in. In actuality it was the exact opposite, because he knew for a fact months back when he was an amnesiac, he was willing to try; Green on the other hand was not. It takes two to tango, and neither of them were willing to fix this.]
..You’re wrong. [Murmuring as his forehead is being settled against hers. It’s hard to admit this, hard to let her in after he had sworn to push her away. Taking in a deep, sharp breath, and blowing it out slowly. Glancing down into her brown eyes, and curling his lips into a frown.]
Lyra… I tried to kill myself… [It’s nothing but a tone of seriousness and sincerety, as his forehead is pulling away from hers, and his head is falling to rest on her shoulder.] No one needs me.. .. You think I only want you because I don’t want him to have you… .. And its wrong.. .. If that was the case.. I’d just take you.. I wouldn’t even let him get near you.. .. But.. That’s not the case..
I need you to need me as much as I need you.. But as long as you love him.. .. As long as you can’t only see me, like I only see you.. .. You won’t ever need me that much..
[He pauses for a few seconds, letting his arms tighten around her. He’s a mess, and it aches to admit all of this; to let her know about it when he had begged Green to not tell her.] My siblings.. .. Told me themselves.. That they don’t need me.. and I just fell apart.. Because if they didn’t need me.. And you don’t need me.. .. What use do I have to live..? I have no purpose.. I have no function. I’m a no good freak who has nothing…
[The tears are free-flowing down his cheeks again, letting her in, letting her see what useless trash he was. It all was overwhelming.]